It is a HUGE sacrifice these people are asking these women to make and there are complications and premeditated resentments on all sides. In that vein, I wish people who’ve been married for several years and got hitched in the 18-23 age range would stop pushing marriage to single fathers and stepmotherhood onto single women who are 30+.Įntering into a blended family situation is NOT for the faint of heart or wallet. The church needs to do a better job of teaching this in Young Women’s and single adult ward Relief Societies instead of pushing marriage so hard and idealizing it so much. I’m glad you’ve realized this, because so many don’t until it’s too late. It’s better to be alone than it is to be in hell with someone else. Remember that your self-worth is not tied to anyone and that it can only be built by you instead of being validated by others.Īnd sisters, if it comes down to removing people who disturb your peace… it’s time for you to break your own heart. It’s not your job to be the “fixer” who resets everything back into place. Ladies, with your sassiest neck-roll, remind yourself that it’s not your responsibility alone to fix someone. It might include toxic family members, church callings and members who overstep and disrespect, or even a partner who has done you dirty that you’re trying to forgive or you just may be a young single adult just like me who is struggling in the path of singleness, settling for the bare minimum in your dating life. Now if you’re reading this, your situation may be different from mine.
I immediately began to cut myself some slack and tried my hardest to tell myself kind things in the following days as I adapted to my new reality without this person as a romantic prospect in my life. It wasn’t my role to take all the weight upon my shoulders. I believed that I could lie and forget my own happiness and sense of self. I told myself that my biological clock was ticking faster. I told myself that I was now older than my mother was when she gave birth to me. I began to feel unloved and unwanted even when I knew the decision was the right one. I told myself that I should’ve lied and stuck it out and that a relationship meant I had something in common with my other friends. Although this was the right decision, I second guessed myself for hurting someone else. Recently, I backed out of the possibility of a relationship with someone who despite their best attempts to make me happy just didn’t evoke strong enough feelings. It’s because until recently, I misplaced my self-worth by believing that unless it was tied to my relationship status or my future husband that there was no need to continue being the strong feminist woman that I am.
You may be asking yourself why this is suddenly so important.
Tonight, is no different.Īs I sit here, the only thing that comes to mind, is the importance of establish a strong foundation of self-worth. I plan my week for my Instagram blog and journal whenever the mood strikes. The most powerful spiritual breakthroughs come at this time. Yet, as I sit here frantically typing these words, I feel immense gratitude for my insomnia.
Other than the soft croon of Erykah Badu’s Tyrone via the television, everyone around me has drifted off to the world of the Sandman. It’s one in the morning as I type this article. Now as an adult, I’ve realized how silly and far-fetched most of those make-believe endings truly were. As countless young girls around the world have done, I created a fairytale of what my life could be. I’ve grown used to hearing tales of other young single adults who whine and throw tantrums when their knight in shining armor doesn’t come swooping in on a white horse to whisk them away for time and all eternity.Īs easy as it is to judge these individuals for their apparent desperation, I used to be one of these girls. Time after time, I have been on the receiving end of hearing girlfriends complain about being single.
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